The Ambivert Advantage
Rethinking the extrovert ideal and embracing ambiversion
In his 2013 research report Rethinking the Extraverted Sales Ideal: The Ambivert Advantage,
took an evidence-based approach to challenge the common belief that extroverts are the most effective salespeople.This research uncovered fascinating insights about ambiverts.
The ambivert advantage
Grant collected data from a company that operates outbound call centres around the United States. Employees were responsible for generating revenue from new prospects and existing customers.
He sent a survey link to all of the company’s 807 employees, inviting them to participate in a study of the predictors of job performance. 340 employees completed the 20-item Big Five personality measure.
In the abstract of this research report we learn that:
Ambiverts achieve greater sales productivity than extraverts or introverts do. Because they naturally engage in a flexible pattern of talking and listening, ambiverts are likely to express sufficient assertiveness and enthusiasm to persuade and close a sale but are more inclined to listen to customers’ interests and less vulnerable to appearing too excited or overconfident.
While Grant's study revealed some interesting insights about ambiverts, the age and gender profile of the respondents is worth noting. They were 71% male and 29% female, with an average age of 19.9 years.
I mention this because I identify as an ambivert, but I am not 20 or male, and it took me until my late 30s to realise I was not an extrovert. Does the age and gender profile of the study really matter? I am not sure, but I thought it was important to highlight.
Grant was exploring the idea that
..there is reason to believe that in sales, extraversion may have diminishing returns and increasing costs. High levels of assertiveness and enthusiasm may reduce the effectiveness of extraverted salespeople in two key ways. First, extraverted salespeople may focus more heavily on their own perspectives than on customers’ perspectives. . . . Second, extraverted salespeople may elicit negative responses from customers.
He was setting out to challenge the extrovert ideal, and in the process, confirmed something captured in Daniel Pink’s work, that ambiverts tended to achieve higher sales performance than either extroverts or introverts.
acknowledges Daniel Pink, author of To Sell is Human as the inspiration for the report. So let’s look at what this means for us as ambiverts.If most people are ambiverted rather than introverted or extraverted, the logical conclusion is that most people are well suited to selling.
Ambiverts naturally balance talking and listening, allowing them to assertively persuade and close sales while remaining attuned to customers' interests.
We listen, process, synthesise the information and look for outcomes that match what we’ve heard and understand from the conversations we have.
Grant’s research found that the flexibility ambivert’s possess - of talking and listening - makes ambiverts less likely to appear overly enthusiastic or confident, traits that can sometimes deter customers.
I’m reminded of the scene in Love Me1 when two of the main characters are dining together for the first time. Heather Mitchell’s character, Anita, asks Hugo Weaving’s character, Glen, “Tell me about yourself”. He is an unassuming fellow who responds with “ I’m just like anybody”. And she smiles and says “Aah, so you’re not a salesman. That makes a nice change”.
How can the ambivert advantage help us?
Grant’s insights from this study are so interesting for ambiverts because, in the process of rethinking the extrovert ideal, he uncovers the ambivert advantage. And we see this in Glen’s uncomfortable moment. When he is not verbose and does not inflate the truth, he provides an important clue about his personality.
If we can embrace this idea of ‘shedding’ the extrovert ideal, it becomes easier to navigate the inevitable social demands that may be thrust upon us.
By letting go of the need to socialise all the time due to the obligation to ‘catch up’ with everyone I know or am related to, I’m getting better at saying
maybe next time: if my week already has one event in the evening, or
can we please reschedule: if I’ve been socialising a lot due to work commitments during the day, or
shall we call it a night: if it’s getting late and I’ve hit my quota of conversation
Embracing my ambiversion has helped me create more space for solitude, and sacred time to develop reading and writing rituals. It’s helped me find my way home to my true self, who I refer to as KPH.
This is the voice who’s with me when I write these updates. It’s the part of me who is more intentional with her habits. These habits support the truer version of me. I’m quieter, more contemplative and selective about how and when I socialise.
There is nothing to prove and everything to learn.
Anecdotal observations
Embracing my preferences as an ambivert means I’m getting better at saying no, or not right now, and I opt for more meaningful conversations about issues that matter.
When I talk about my place on the introvert-extrovert spectrum and admit to being misdiagnosed as an extrovert, the stories others share reveal that my feelings of overwhelm - or perhaps overstimulation - are common experiences.
In my conversations about being an ambivert, I’m noticing some people grow into their ambiversion. With the wisdom of time and experience, ambiverts (or misdiagnosed extroverts) are better at articulating their preferences for socialising. They’ve worked out how to carve out time for more solitary pursuits.
In the process of becoming more tuned into my preferences for socialising, I’ve gravitated towards friends and family who ‘get’ me. They’re the ones who know I’m unlikely to answer a call after 8.30pm because my phone is out of reach. These are the people who respond with kindness and understanding when I suggest alternative ways to catch up, or reschedule plans in a week that feels too busy.
It’s noisy out there. Perhaps this is the sign you need to scan your social calendar and scale back those over-stimulating catch ups, or perhaps re-think how, and where, you do them. A walk in nature with your friend or colleague may be better than sitting in a noisy coffee shop together.
Where are you on the introvert-extrovert continuum?
Please leave a comment and share where you are on the introvert-extrovert continuum. I’d love to know how you discovered this about yourself.
With love and gratitude,
KPH
I acknowledge the Traditional Owners and Custodians of the lands on which I live and pay my respects to Indigenous Elders past, present and emerging. Sovereignty has never been ceded. It always was and always will be, Aboriginal land.
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Love Me is an Australian series on ABC iView. The scene I mention is about 21 minutes into Season One, Episode Two.
Great article, Karen. Really insightful.