How does an ambivert celebrate her 50th birthday?
Birthday plans, what’s happening in my garden, my writing journey & books worth mentioning
In this update I share my birthday plans, what’s happening in my garden, my writing journey and books worth mentioning.
In My Garden
The photo of this teapot is from my vegetable garden. I love this time of year. It’s when I can move things around in the garden. The teapot’s location is temporary and this particular patch is waiting for me to plant or transplant vegetable seedlings; beetroot, spinach and silverbeet. As soon as we have a few sunny days, my son can finish painting the garage you see in the background, and the relocation and planting will begin.
How does an ambivert celebrate her 50th birthday?
I’m celebrating a milestone birthday next month. The celebrations are shaping up to be aligned with my preference for more intimate social gatherings. I share this with you because the process of talking about myself and the manuscript process has been a tiring one.
Knowing the environments in which I thrive, versus just surviving, has been an important part of embracing my ambivert tendencies. Over the past nine years I’ve been putting into action what I’ve slowly learnt about myself from my responses to my wedding, my 30th Birthday and my 40th Birthday. I much prefer small and more intimate celebrations and do not like being the centre of attention.
I’m looking forward to a month of lunches, dinners, a visit to Bendigo Art Gallery to see Bendigo for Paris: Impressions of Life 1880 - 1925, a new networking format I’m exploring for quieter and thoughtful folk, a massage, a hair cut and a few sleep ins.
Reading Quiet: The Power of Introverts in a World That Can’t Stop Talking, by
in 2015 and doing the quiz is when I had the revelation that explained why I felt so drained after attending certain types of events. You may be wondering why it took me so long to work out that I was not an extrovert.I blame personality tests.
I did my first Myers-Briggs test many years ago. The MBTI® assessment was originally designed to help people understand personality differences in the general population. It’s meant to help people understand their strengths and blind spots and how they might differ from others. It focuses on four preference pairs, including Extraversion–Introversion (E–I): from where you get your energy, Sensing–Intuition (S–N): what information you prefer to gather and trust, Thinking–Feeling (T–F): the process you prefer to use in making decisions, and Judging–Perceiving (J–P): how you deal with the world around you.
The questions I answered in this personality assessment identified me as ENFJ. The extrovert description fit me from a social perspective, but ignored my need to recharge. At the time, I did not think deeply enough about extroversion and introversion being part of a continuum.
I could have been one question away from being an INFJ.
Writing Journey
I pitched my manuscript to two publishers last month and was thrilled to have one publisher request the full manuscript. The Australian Society of Authors advises not to expect feedback. I therefore appreciated receiving an email from the publisher who read the manuscript.
Thank you for sending your manuscript, but I am sorry to say that while you write very well, NEXT STEPS isn’t the right fit for our list. We only publish very selectively in this area, so please don’t be disappointed by this. I think that if you select your publisher carefully, you could well receive a different result.
I sent a return email, thanked her for the feedback and asked if she minded letting me know the publishers she had in mind. She generously emailed a list of three other publishers, and I now have a fresh list to approach.
You may be wondering how I'm feeling. I'm thankful that the publisher took the time to provide this feedback, relieved that I know the outcome and encouraged that my writing has merit and could be relevant for other publishers.
This feedback is a form of rejection. Yes, of course my naysayer inner voices wanted to tell me this was a standard response and that I should walk away. But that's not what a persistent person would do.
A journey of learning and growing means accepting feedback and letting it inform your next step. Rather than believing some of my more negative thoughts, I'm thanking my inner voices for their contribution and focusing on the things I can influence in my world right now.
I can get out of my way and do hard things when I need to, but self promotion is not particularly comfortable. I’m continuing the momentum I’ve created and nurturing my writing in the following ways.
I’m exploring local writers groups and attended my first meeting at the local library.
I’m here, now. I am writing this for you.
I’m working on a new manuscript about rituals, writing it in real time from 1st April for 12 months in the year I turn 50.
I’m attending book launches to visualise myself talking about my book in the future.
I’ve shared the manuscript with a handful of people and I expect I’ll have a lot of work to do once I receive their feedback.
Books worth mentioning
I'm currently listening to Paul Kelly's book, How to Make Gravy. It's narrated by Paul Kelly and I'm enjoying pausing the audio and asking Siri to play the song he's just read the lyrics to.
I've finished reading Yellowface, by R.F. Kuang. It's a book I nearly put down and did not return to. Books are funny like that. You need to be in the right frame of mind to read them.
I also read Wintering: The Power of Rest & Retreat in Difficult Times, by
, prompting me to think about the rituals I’m writing about in my next book. I’ve finished Women & Children, by Tony Birch, just in time for book club. I’m looking forward to hearing Tony Birch in conversation with Ann Patchett and Lauren Groff at the Melbourne Writers Festival.I'm half way through Love, Death & Other Scenes, by
. I heard Nova talk about her experience writing this book at the Clunes Booktown Festival last month. It’s filled with emotion and deep love. When I asked her to sign my copy of the book, she asked to give me a hug. As we embraced she explained, “It’s my first adult signing”.I’m enjoying the familiarity of reading the work of a local writer who weaves her storytelling with memories of Melbourne and the Australian Open, when it was hosted at Kooyong Lawn Tennis Club. Can you believe I was a ballgirl there once? In the days when we were issued with Dunlop Volleys as part of the official AO uniform!
With love & gratitude,
KPH
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I acknowledge the Traditional Owners and Custodians of the lands on which I live and pay my respects to Indigenous Elders past, present and emerging. Sovereignty has never been ceded. It always was and always will be, Aboriginal land.